Al, there are plenty of good people in this newsgroup, and I would go
so far as to count myself among them.  Take a moment to really ponder
why they don't come to your defence ...  No, I meant REALLY ponder ...
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
I suggested some things that I thought the company [Slackware] should
do.
From: Al. C
Such as what? What direction do you think Slackware should go or could
go?
From: xeno
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Eric Hameleers
%
Why don't you [Al. C] just bugger off?  You are boring the shit out of
everybody.
From: From: Realto Margarino
%
here's my impression: slackware inc. is more like your neighbourhood
bar or bakery. you know, the kind of small, local pub or store that
provides its proprietor with a modest income, a daily activity, and
most importantly, with a position in the community and as such a
purpose in life.
From: Joost Kremers
%
Not yet, though he [Al. C] loves sticking his finger up his nose, and
then trying to feed his snot to us.  That could be interpreted as a
big "screw you!"
From: Keith Keller In: Slackware-OT
%
The Harkonnens were nobles.  They were cunning.  They were not sad
excuses for the trolls we see here.  As much as we got a chance to
see a massive amount of the the Dune universe we never saw anything
like a troll there.

Just think how different things might have turned out.  "You must
pick a name to be called by the Fremen." "What is the name of the
lizard that walks with rhythmic steps so that the sandworms may find
him?" "That is the trollad 'dib.  A stupid creature that should be
avoided lest a worm find it and you get eaten too."
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Damn you beer!
Aw, sorry beer, c'mon back here...
From: Handover Phist
%
That is an ignorant statement.  Shame on you for not engaging
your brain before typing it too.  Get a cup of coffee, throw
cold water on your face, pinch some tender part, eat a jalapeno
pepper, and when all of your senses are functional, go run "make
xconfig" in the source directory for a kernel and actually
*look* at the options you are babbling about.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
grant@sempro:/usr/src/linux-2.6.11.8$ grep -r -o goto *|wc -l 
30432
Guess those linux-kernel programmers don't have a clue about
programming? :o)
From: Grant Coady
%
What is so difficult about just saying "Oh, sorry 'bout that.  I'll
try to remember that the next time I post".  Seems to me they would
get much more out of that "common courtesy" than by trying to show how
tough they are are by being inflexible and rude.

Anyone who plays pool in bars knows about asking what the "rules" are
for that particular locale.  This is no different.
From: Franklin
%
3 months...your time runs faster than mine. 2 weeks ago it was your
10th day of using slackware.
From: Gufo
%
Your cluelessness is exceeded only by your (continued) lack of ability
to properly post to Usenet.
From: Dan C
%
What part of "Trim your posts!" did you not understand?
From: Keith Keller
%
and everytime u kill a troll, God masturbates :)
From: Martin J. Green
%
Heh. Some of us aren't convinced that 45MB for a text editor is
efficient use of our pr0n storage^W^Wresources.
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Thank you profusely for excluding yourself from my life. You're
one of the guys for whom I consider "being hated by the likes of
him" to be High Praise. ;-)
From: Pig Bladder
%
What matters, Al, and what I believe others have been trying very hard
to get you to come to terms with, is that Slackware works just fine
the way it is, regardless of any sort of media attention.  As long as
that continues to be true, Slackware will be the Linux distribution of
choice for many knowledgeable working system administrators.  As long
as *that* continues to be true, there will be a Slackware, or some
derivative that will follow, that will provide a Linux distribution
for people who like it that way.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Maybe you'll be better of in this group news:pl.comp.os.linux
From: Thomas O.
%
Let's face it. THere is not much Slackware news out there. We have no
weekly newsletter, Pat makes no weekly announcements on something just
to get some attention. We are a bunch of boring people using a boring
distro, because we like simplicity and stability.
From: Scott Cole
%
# Check user competency.
if [ $(iq) -lt 20 ]; then
  run_around
  exit 0
fi
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
slackers are the brighter crayons in the box.
From: Grant Coady
%
Slackware Linux Essentials 2.0 has been released! You can read the
book online at http://www.slackbook.org.
<snip>
I'd like to publically thank everyone who's been involved in this
project for your assistance, your words of encouragement, your kind
thoughts, and constructive criticism.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
On May 16, 2005, at 4:50 PM, Scott Cole wrote:
>So Alan, honestly, how do you attract all of the kooks?

My dashing good looks and rugged cowboy charm.

Can I get a modquote for that?
From: +Alan Hicks+ In: Slackware-OT
%
Once again, Kudos to you Alan, and to everyone that had a hand in
taking this book from just an idea we discussed in AOSLS to a RL,
sniff-the-pages item that n00bs, regular folks and future BOZOS can
hold in their hands and learn from. (or smite trolls with.)
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
You really should stop now to drink this kind of tobacco
and smoke all this voska, try and quit the quaaludes and rocks too;
you look a little bit like a pressure cooker ... Take care :D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Perhaps you feel ashamed or humiliated, or perhaps just annoyed. I
don't rightly know how you feel, and frankly that doesn't matter.
You're posting in-line, trimming quotes, and flaming back like a
Slacker. Welcome to the club.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Most of this newsgroup, with some exceptions, are in constant contact
with each other by email. I was the one selected to insult and
ridicule you, while all the others involved sat laughing at you.
From: Two Ravens
%
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of
"Usenet trolls":

** Entry Begins **

Usenet Trolls (Homo Sapiens Asshatus) are an offshoot species that
came into existance seemingly for the sole purpose of serving as proof
of concept of "John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory." The
Conspiracy Sciences Agency of Omicron Perseii 8 has speculated that
John Gabriel himself is responsible for the formation of these
pests. This is generally disregarded, as other researches discount
this theory outright with a simple "duh."

Usenet trolls are formed when a human of sub-normal intelligence and
insufficient parental supervision is given access to a large audience
and the cover of anonymity. The atavism is generally immediate, and
brings with it a number of physiological changes: thickening of the
cranium, increased adrenal output, a 90% decrease in cerebral
activity, and Tourette's syndrome in 99% of cases. The most common and
clear marking of the usenet troll, however, is the marked molecular
change in the victim's pheromones. This results in an ever-present,
overpowering stench, often described as smelling like bovine
excrement. 

Most baffling, however, is the inexplicable aura of anti-Cluons the
usenet troll emits. This field renders the victim completely resistant
to all known cures for stupidity in the galaxy, save for death by
blunt force trauma. It has the added function of attracting
weak-minded and gullible individuals into entering debates on various
subjects with the troll. Since these "discussions" are incapable of
being rational or intelligent, due to the Universal Conceptual Value
Metric ("The value of any discussion can be found by multiplying the
IQs of the participants") they simply provide the troll the negative
attenion it requires to survive.

These individuals are referred to as "Troll-feeders," though they are
known to be called much worse when they actively engage the troll in
conversation. "Troll Feeding" is currently a 3rd degree misdemeanor on
7 planets, a second-degree felony on 21 planets, non-actionable on 3
planets, and a capital offense on every civilized planet, save for
Vega 2. On Vega 2, troll feeders are locked up along with the trolls
for life without parole.

As of this writing, the Civil Rights movement on Vega 2 is currently
protesting, seeking a death sentence in the name of mercy.

** Entry Ends **
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Think of trolls as poison ivy, just don't scratch and use an anti itch
lotion. 
From: No_One
%
unless I miss my guess, they're afraid of failure from long up-times
because they've been weaned on the tit of Windows and can't possibly
understand that a stable system doesn't need to be rebooted to work.
In fact, rebooting is de-stabilizing a working system if done for no
better reason than it's that time of the month.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I went straight into the server room upstairs and asked the system
admin if anything was wrong.  He looked a bit confused, but, before
answering my question, he quickly bent and pressed the reboot button
on the machine which hosts one of the main servers.  "What problem?",
he exclaimed.  I nearly burst out laughing.  The servers are all
Windows based.
From: Ayaz Ahmed Khan
%
And no, they will not fry your privates :)
Not even a tingle :(  no fun at all...
From: Grant Coady
%
Given the number of totally worthless articles posted in this
newsgroup, don't you find it odd to be concerned about this thread?
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
In alt.os.linux.slackware, Cichlidiot dared to utter,
> If I had more energy, I'd do a BOFH style spoof with the opposite
> spin on it (clueless admin instead of snickering admin).
So instead of BOFH your main character would be MCSE? :-)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Dude, here's a nickel. Buy an f-ing clue. People have been telling you
all week you have a hardware problem.
From: Cichlidiot
%
I can't help it if people appreciate me and despise Al; that's not my
fault.  Of course, I'm sure the fact that some ignorant hillbilly from
the Jaw-Juh swamps has stepped on his "turf" by being involved
somewhat in a printed book and that said book will likely be far more
popular than anything Al ever publishes has stuck in his craw.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
What part of "the book already has a publisher" from my last reply to
this thread did you not understand (or forget) between yesterday and
today?
From: Cichlidiot
%
The mod quotes list is fun.  Some of them are clever, some insightful,
some just funny.  Some are clever, insightful, funny insults. 
From: Old Man
%
So now "most of us" "sleep with Dan C."
From: Old Man
%
"We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created
equal..."
... but some of us advance a little further on the maturity scale than
others. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
??? NO SABEN MIERDA???
Usted es en el STURPORIFICA de las DROGAS!
SABEN MIERDA MAS BUENO!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
%
> Why do I do it?  So I can get ad money from people visiting my
> site.  Oh, wait, I don't have any adds. 
>
> 1. collect modquotes
> 2. ?
> 3. profit
> From: Faux_Pseudo
 2. Offer to remove embarassing mod quotes for a fee
From: Lew Pitcher
%
                  _.------.                        .----.__
                 /         \_.       ._           /---.__  \
                |  O    O   |\\___  //|          /       `\ |
                |  .vvvvv.  | )   `(/ |         | o     o  \|
                /  |     |  |/      \ |  /|   ./| .vvvvv.  |\
               /   `^^^^^'  / _   _  `|_ ||  / /| |     |  | \
             ./  /|         | O)  O   ) \|| //' | `^vvvv'  |/\\
            /   / |         \        /  | | ~   \          |  \\
            \  /  |        / \ Y   /'   | \     |          |   ~
             `'   |  _     |  `._/' |   |  \     7        /
               _.-'-' `-'-'|  |`-._/   /    \ _ /    .    |
          __.-'            \  \   .   / \_.  \ -|_/\/ `--.|_
       --'                  \  \ |   /    |  |              `-
                             \uU \UU/     |  /   :F_P:
                                           `'
                Every time you troll-feed, God kills a kitten.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Tell me about the _next_ time you want to find something.  Will you
let someone else do the work for you again, or will you do it
yourself?  I ask because I want to know if I should killfile you now
or give you another chance.
From: Steve Youngs
%
What's the unit of measure for fun? 
From: Mikhail Zotov
%
Keep in mind that the Beer Scale inverts when applied to certain
situations. A three beer chick is more fun that a six beer chick for
example. As in "I'd only have to down a couple to do her, but her
friend is definitely something I'd have to wake up next to and be
surprised. Not in that pleasant way either".
From: Handover Phist
%
The trick is to find a one beer chick and buy her shots.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
He's like the drunk at the end of the bar who keeps farting.  You can
ignore him all you want but eventually the stink becomes unbearable.
From: No_One
%
To you, being knowledgable about computers is nothing more than being
a touch typist.
From: Realto Margarino
%
There is nothing "mission critical" about your miserable little life.
From: Realto Margarino
%
Oh, and fire that IT dork ASAP and load the bill on him for criminal
negligence of duties.
From: Jennifer Smith
%
[0] Faux_Pseudo, can you verify my spelling on that?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%