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#########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 1 of 16 So you made it. Where is Ursula? \ __________\_________________.--i| | \_______ || ||---+ |\| [] [" ') ||o || \||| Goth -------- \; o/ ---------|||\|| \|| Club ________ LL /\ _________|;/\' \| --------- She is feeling too sorry for her self to make it tonight. . . . . . . . So you are here on your own? That could be dangerous. So what brings you here tonight without her? \ ________________\___________.--i| | \_______ || ||---+ |\| [] [" (' || || \||| Goth --------------- \; \o----|| || \|| Club ______________ LL /\____|;--' \| o ' ---|\---- I came to talk to you. /\ . . . . . . . O fuck this is going to be a long night. [] /::\ _L #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 2 of 16 So what are we going to talk about this week. / __ [" ') o | | ___ _| |\; __n o/| |_ ___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| | | | | | | |\|__| / You have as of yet to grow a backbone and dump the people that don't know you aren't dating them anymore. But I hounded you on that that last two weeks. So this week we are just going to see what happens. . . . . . . . O fuck this is going to be a long night. / __ [" ') O | | Yes ___ _| |\; __n o/| |_ ___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| | | | | | | /\|__| / You owe me royalties. But ... I will settle for your soul. . . . . . . . . ?! (< . . . O ` ' __ [" `) o | | Fuck ___ _| |\; __n o/| |_ ___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| | | | | | | |\|__| #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 3 of 16 So tell me about about your date on Wednesday. Did you behave yourself. , \ Of course. __ [" ') ' o | | Oh ___ _| |\; __n o/| |_ ___ _| \-;/ | No | | | | |'\\| |//'| | | | | | | |\|__| . . . . . . . You are lying. But we will get back to that latter. When you guard is down. ` How do you manage to read [" ') ' people like a book when |\; __n o)| you are this drunk? |'\\| |//'| , You should see me when I am sober. . . . . . . . Why do I get the idea that would Be hazardous to my health? ' __ [" ') o | | Come.. ___ _| ||; __n o/| |_ ___ _| \-;/ | On.. | | | | |'\\| |//'| | | | | | | |\|__| , Depends on how sensitive your cervix is. Anyway enough about that. It's time for me to smoke a cig. . . . . . . . ?! __ (' [" o | | Damn ___ _| |_ __n o/| |_ \; _| \-;/ | | | | | | | | |//'| | | /\ | | |\|__| , Why do I let him get way with comments like that? #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 4 of 16 Well Harding is off looking for slaves that he will never find. __________________|_________ /| | | / |---+ Smoking ` | / /|| | section [" ') What shall we do? / |===| o o \o/ \; o/ | | ||__|_o_\_/|__|_____LL /\___| | / o o o o o o o o / |/ |\ /| /| |\ |\ /| /| |\ / / /\ |\ |\ /\ /\ |\ |\ /\ / ------------------------------ . . . . . . . Well you can continue running away from him when he interrupts our talks for the rest of the night or we can go back to my hell hole. \ :.: [" ') , :../; o/ LL /\ \ I think we should keep avoiding him here. . . . . . . . I was hoping you would say that. __________________|_________ /| | | / |---+ Smoking ` | / /|| | section [" ') Are you always so self defeating. / |===| o o \o/ \; o/ | | ||__|_o_\_/|__|_____LL /\___| | / o o o o o o , / |/ / / Just wait until I get you to my compost heap of a living space and psychoanalyze you when I should be trying to sleep with you. . . . . . . . Don't you EVER answer with a simple yes or no? \ () <oo> |\ #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 5 of 16 Do you always leave your jacket and water behind when you rush off to dance or avoid Harding? ` __ [" ') | | ___ _| |\; __n _| o/ _ ___ _| ;/ | | | | | |'\\| | | | /\ | | | | | |__| , Are you saying you drugged the water? . . . . . . . Could be.. Ha Ha ... ha [' ') , |\; __n o/| |'\\| | //'| #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 6 of 16 Ha he he.. ?? [" ') |\; __n o/| |'\\| |//'| . . . . . . . ha ha he he.. What is so funny! [" ') |\; __n o/| |'\\| |//'| / O I just thought of the perfect NIN lyrics for this situation but I will refrain for your benefit. . . . . . . . You read every expression on me like a book and won't let me get away with a "Oh. Never mind" so I am returning the favor. / [" ') ||; __n o/| |'\\| |//'| , \ Touche! Well? . . . . . . . [" ') |(; __n o|| |'\\| |//'| / I shouldn't do this. But I see I have no choice. .== _= _==. I'm Drunk .== _= _==. And right now I'm so in love with you .== _= _==. And I don't want to think to much about what we should or shouldn't do. . . . . . . . Isn't there something about the devil after that? \ [" ') |\; __n o/| |'\\| |//'| / The Devil wants to fuck me in the back of my car. But thats not a point I wanted to make. Your not the devil and I have no car. . . . . . . . Maybe you are the devil and I have the car. \ __ [' ') o\ | | Level ||; __n o/| /I';/ | Done |'\\| |//'| (( |__| #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 7 of 16 Soo, when are you going to have dinner at my place? / __ [" (' '} o | | ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ _ ___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | | | | | |\|__| , We will have to plan that ... some other time. . . . . . . . Can I have a sip of your water? / __ [" (' {' O o | | ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ <|___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| /\| | | | |\|__| \ I drugged it so you probably don't want any unless you are combing back to my estate and give me a chance to use my 20 foot whip. . . . . . . . __ [" (' '} O o | | ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ <|___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| /\| | | | |\|__| , Well this is going to be interesting because Urick Drugged it too. . . . . . . . ,Umm Never mind.. [" ') {' O o | | ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ |>___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| |\| | | | |\|__| , Well the synergistic effect should be interesting to study. . . . . . . . [" ') |\; __n o/| |'\\| |//'| , "Synergistic effect?" Do you ever stop being a geek? #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 8 of 16 "Synergistic effect?" Do you ever stop being a geek? ` __ [' ') {' O O | | ___ _| ||; __n o/| +/ |>___ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| |\| | | | |\|__| , Only when I am telling Harding to his face that he is a sociopath. . . . . . . . You are more fun when you are drunk. / [" ') '} |\; __n o/| +| |'\\| |//'| /| , I prefer the more exogenic manor of insulting people like your self I find it more entertaining than the isogenic track that most people use. What do you think of me the rest of the time? . . . . . . . Inoculous. / __ [" `) `} o | | Holy ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ |_____ _| \-;/ | Shit! | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |\|__| , This rudeness is a sauce to his good wit, Which gives men stomach to digest his words. Julius Caesar Act I Scene II Not that I keep up on these things. . . . . . . . ") --n o)| Of course not, not you. | | //'| #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 9 of 16 Isogenic, Exogenic, Inoculous: Do you two just throw out Latin words keep me amused while you two banter about each others wits? \ __ [" ') '} o | | ___ _| |\; __n o)| +/ |_____ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |\|__| , And yet throwing out Latin words is the extent our ability. You on the other hand can /speak/ Latin. But if you did that it would likely have the same effect as Morticia speaking French to Gomez. . . . . . . . Que?, __ [" ') `} o | | Damn ___ _| |\; __n o/| +/ |_____ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |\|__| , , Adams Family or some ; Allow me to translate his drunkenness. such show before your ; "If you speak Latin both of us will be time. ; fighting to take you home with them" #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 10 of 16 Allow me to translate his drunkenness. "If you speak Latin both of us will be fighting to take you home with them. / __ [" ') '} | | ___ _| |\; __n o|| +/ |_____ _| ;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |__| , Aren't you two do doing that already. . . . . . . . You don't want to go home to my dilapidated hovel you are better off at Hardings alleged estate. ` __ [" ') `} - ?? | | ___ _| |(; __n o/| +/ |_____ _| ;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |__| , Did I mention that you are amusing when you are drunk? . . . . . . . You should be flattering her not me. ` __ [" '} (" | | ___ _| |\; __n _| +/ | /o__ _| ;/ | | | | | |'\\| | | | /| | /\ | | | |__| , Gotta dance. #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 11 of 16 You should be flattering her not me. ` __ [" '} (" | | ___ _| |\; __n _| +/ /o__ _| ;/ | | | | | |'\\| | | | /| | /\ | | | |__| , Gotta dance. . . . . . . . You scared her off again. \ [" '} - I? |\; __n _| +/ |'\\| | | | /| . . . . . . . She never does that when it is just her and I so it must be you. \ [" '} |\; __n _| +/ |'\\| | | | /| \ Did I mention that you are amusing when you are drunk? . . . . . . . You mention it every time I catch you in a sociopathic lie or state more truth than you want to here. But is your nature as a sociopath to find everyone amusing as we are all here to entertain your myopic little world. \ [" `} |\; __n +/| |'\\| | /|| <Music: Bela Lugosi's Dead THUMP THUMP Undead Undead THUMP THUMP> . . . . . . . Well I am off to find new slaves. \ [" {' |\; __n _| (+ |'\\| | | | /\ / Ponder: To be drunk or not to be drunk; Well its a bit to late for that question. #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 12 of 16 So when you leave will it be with a hand shake a hug or a kiss. , __________\_________________.--i| | \_______ || ||---+ |\| [] [" ') || || \||| Goth -------- \; o/ ---------|| || \|| Club ________ LL /\ _________|;--' \| , --------- No fourth option? . . . . . . . Do you have any idea how drunk I am? , I have rules about that. __________\_________________.--i| | \_______ || ||---+ |\| [] [" (' || || \||| Goth -------- \; /o ---------|| || \|| Club ________ LL /\ _________|;--' \| , --------- I need a cig. #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 13 of 16 Will you keep an eye out for Harding? / [" ') |\; ___ o)| |'\\| |/('| / Why? You haven't got enough backbone to tell him to leave if he does come by again . . . . . . . Must you always be so harsh? \ [" ") `} |\; ___ o/| +/ |'\\| |//'| /\ / It goes with the honesty that you find refreshing. . . . . . . . So Harding why aren't you looking for new slaves to take home with you? \ __ [" ') `} o | | Fire! ___ _| |\; ___ o/| +/ |_____ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |\|__| , All of the sligs are the old ones. No new blood today because of Gay Pride. . . . . . . . So instead you come over here and try to do something like gently masage the back of the one girl who has managed to avoid your advances, despite her lack of backbone, for months now? \ ! ! __ [" ') `} o | | Yeesss! ___ _| |\; ___ o/"-+/ |_____ _| \-;/ | | | | | |'\\| |//'| /| | || | | | |\|__| , And what is your goal? . . . . . . . Well the last two weeks it was attempting to get her to dump the person who thinks that she is still dating him, get rid of the stalker that isn't you, and hope that a proto-spine will grow in her to match her intellect. In the process I will ingratiate my self into her mind and she will learn to despise and hate me. __ [" ') `} o | | Oh Fuck! |\; ___ o/| +/ \-;/ | |'\\| |//'| /| |\|__| , Have another drink comrade. , You sure know how to woo them. . . . . . . . And now you know why everyone calls me \ Ass Hole ' ' [' ') `} |\; ___ o/| +/ |')\| |//'| /| #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 14 of 16 The time is gone, The club is over, thought I'd something more to say. ______\_____________________.--i| | \_______ || o||---+ |\| [] "] ') || \|| \||| Goth ------;/ ---- o/ ---------||/\|| \|| Club ___ /\ ____ /\ _________|;--' \| o o -- / ---- \ /\ /\ . . . . . . . Well it looks like we managed to leave without together anyone noticing. / \ ===================["==')=======================================\ --- --- --- --- /;--\o--- --- --- --- --- --- --- `\ `\ /\ /\ \ \ ===================================================================\ \ When did you get so devious. I didn't even know we where leaving together. . . . . . . . Hop in. [" (' _______ /; \o .//__|__\\___ /\ /\ <_--__|___--__) / -- -- I didn't know I was getting a ride home. Good thing too, Because I am do drunk to walk. I better drive. #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 15 of 16 +--------------------------------+ /| ______________| / | /-------------/| / | |iiviivivMNNEi|| / So why did you come|-------------|| / back to the humble |iviiEmmiIvIiM|| +---hell hole? |-------------|| | /|/-------------+ |MMMMMiiiiNNNm|| | /'| /| ---------------/ | /,/'------------/ / / | |__ [" ') _____|/ :" / | / /; o/ ,;:d8(/)8D(\);;,/ | / /\ /\ *d(/)O880(\);;{/ +__________ _________P<=e______/ | Well it beat going to Harding's house where all he would want to do is break out the party favors; chips, dips, chains and whips. . . . . . . . +--------------------------------+ /| ______________| / | /-------------/| / | |iiviivivMNNEi|| / | |-------------|| / | |iviiEmmiIvIiM|| +--You forgot |-------------|| | the part where he would iiiNNNm|| | pretend to speak French.-----------/ | /,/-------------/ / / | |__ [" ') _____|/ :" / | / /; o/ ,;:d8(/)8D(\);;,/ | / /\ /\ *d(/)O880(\);;{/ +_________ __________P<=e______/ | Oh yah I forgot that part. Should I tell him I speak French and that he is full of it? . . . . . . . Not unless you want to turn me on. \ [" ') Lets torment each other for \; o/ a while by just talking. /\ /\ , Beautiful #########################################################:F_P:######## #########################################################:F_P:######## Vol 1 Issue 16 of 16 END Vol 1 <several hours later> Ok I got you off your ass, out the door and to your car. Are we still trying to decide whether this will be a hand shake, hug, or kiss? \ [" (' _______ /; \o .//__|__\\___ /\ /\ <_--__|___--__) -- -- . . . . . . . I think, ... a hug. , _______ ["') .//__|__\\___ |==- <_--__|___--__) ||/\ -- -- Could you not be so stiff every time I give you a hug. / _______ [" ') .//__|__\\___ \; o/ <_--__|___--__) /\ /\ -- -- / Sorry old habits die hard. At least I put my arm around you. That IS an improvement over most weeks. . . . . . . . Well we can't win them all. / _______ [" ') .//__|__\\___ \; o/ <_--__|___--__) /\ /\ -- -- / Well lets see if we can change that. . . . . . . . ["') teeth moving slowly up her neck ==- /\/\ ["') lips touching ==- /\/\ ["') hand slowly moves down her side ==- /X\ ["') lips opening ==- /X\ ["') waists drawn closer together ==- /X\ [) gently hold on to ==- upper lip with teeth /X\ [) ==\ (()) ["') kiss .. ==- one .. //\\ last .. bit .. . . . . . . . I knew you had it in you. / _______ [" ') .//__|__\\___ |; o/ <_--__|___--__) /\ (( -- -- / I /am/ a trained professional. Sometimes it just takes a while to bring it out. . . . . . . . __ _______ [] ------//__|__\\___ /::/ ---- <_--__|___--__) _L ---- -- -- / Note to self: Make first move once and a while. Instead of always waiting for the other person to do it. You would have a lot less frustration in your life. :F_P:################################################################### # A long night out : 16 parts
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